One woman’s story on finding joy.

Moyra’s Story

Moyra and I met at a business dinner held last year at La Jolie MLN. It was a well-attended event, and each woman got the chance to give a bit of her background and talk about her business. It’s the way relationships are made, and the mix of talent was impressive.

A year later, our mutual friend Daisy Malek-Shadid, owner of La Jolie MLN, put us in touch so that I could interview Moyra for this story. It turns out we have something in common. I have 40 years of sobriety in AA, and Moyra has been playing a key role in her daughter’s fight with an eating disorder.

First a little background.

A retired nurse, Moyra has been working for the past 23 years as a wellness ambassador for Shaklee Corporation, a leading name in natural nutritional supplements. “I chose Shaklee,” she told me “because, although I wanted to work in the health industry, most supplements are unregulated and market themselves as “all natural’, although that is often not the case. Shaklee is different. They do clinical trials on every product they offer. And they have a chain of custody that goes all the way from raw materials to finished products. Shaklee is the one company that can - and does - make the claim ‘We are beyond organic.’”

How did you come to face addiction?

“Throughout the last 22 years, we’ve had four children; three boys and a girl. At 16 our daughter developed an eating disorder. It was a huge threat to us as a family; she would cycle in and out of treatment centers, and frankly, we didn’t know if she was going to live. As a mom with a long career in healthcare, it seems like a cruel irony. Why was this happening to us?

The statistics on eating disorders are frightening:

The most common age of onset is 12 to 25
Anorexia and bulimia affect about 2-3 percent of all women
Individuals who fall victim to these diseases tend to be perfectionistic, sensitive to criticism, and self-doubting
50 to 75% of patients eventually recover

Coping with an eating disorder

For Moyra, coping with her daughter’s condition ultimately demanded that she set boundaries. “That,” said Moyra “meant taking care of myself…actually putting myself first for a change.”

Moyra loved being a mom. “We had a schedule on the pantry door that listed all the games and swim meets, but when my daughter was overtaken by her addition, it absorbed my whole being. I was in a world of hurt. Friends said ‘You need to do something for yourself.’” And when I did that, it helped my daughter too.”

Dancing for joy

I decided to take ballroom dance lessons. It was something I watched on TV, and I loved the grace and fun of it. So, I thought why not? Lessons became a couple-of-times-a-week thing that soon turned into competitions. Very recently, I did a dance competition that was a combination of tango and cha-cha. My daughter came to watch, and when I got home, she said, “Mom, you’re killing it; you’re out there smiling and shaking your hips…I could feel the joy. I’m so proud of you.”

Moyra added, “Here’s something I learned. Boundaries let us set a living example of going for a full life. Over the years I’ve grown. As my daughter began to recover, she wrote me letters saying that as I found joy, it was an inspiration to her. I know now that there was nothing I could do until she was ready to help herself.”

Seeking help

Dancing brought me joy, but I used Al Anon, a 12-Step program to help me understand addiction and embrace a set of tools. I learned:

Get off the roller coaster; it’s your daughter’s experience
Learn all you can about eating disorders
Get a therapist for your daughter and one for yourself. This is essential to break the toxic codependency

Today

My daughter is doing well today. She lives one day at a time, has the support of a great therapist, and works her own program.

As a result of everything I’ve learned, I started a podcast called “Your Journey to Joy.” I believe it’s there everyone. Sometimes it’s the joy of dance, a good therapist, and learning how to let go. I also found great recovery in journaling. I recommend this to anyone on the journey to recovery. For me it was a life saver.

Get a copy of Moyra’s “Journal To Joy” at La Jolie MLN.

La Jolie MLN: ”It’s our mission to give young ladies the lessons all of you can share with us. So, let’s share our experiences, strength and stories.

I cordially invite you to join a cohort of empowered women. Please send your stories to Blog@lajolie-mln.com