She was mom to 3 girls, but when God whispered in her heart, she found herself with two boys to raise.

I was a mom with two daughters and a career in the advertising industry when my husband and I decided to divorce. No hostility; just not a long-term fit. After adjusting to my “new normal”, I began to think about finding someone special to share my life with. I was seeking a guy who put God first in his life not to mention had all the other qualities I was seeking. My attempts at for finding that person was continually leading nowhere, and nobody rode out of the forest on a white steed. So, loneliness started to steal my hopes for a new beginning.

Being a committed Christian, I attended church. So, I turned to prayer, and got a strong message . . . let go and let God. When I shared my plan to turn over my dating life to God, my daughter told me I’d meet my next husband there. I thought, “All the guys at church who I’d want to date are already married” and my reply was “There are no normal single guys at church that I’d want to date.” Period.

A week later at church, after dropping off both daughters at college, I recall standing in church during the opening prayer thinking, ‘God, what do I need to do . . . hold up a sign that says I’m lonely and seeking a date if you’re single and normal?’

Then I saw Bob. He was standing right across the aisle from me wearing shorts; I couldn’t help but notice his athletic figure. When it came time to reach out and shake hands with someone you didn’t know, we each reached out a hand to each other and said, “Hello.” After church was over, we walked out together talking, and after a 20-minute conversation in which we realized we have many similar passions and hobbies, he asked for my phone number. A week later we went out on our first date. Bob told me after we’d become a couple that he had called a close friend that fateful Sunday and said, “I just met my next wife”. A year later we were married.

Bob had been married too. But his wife died young of cystic fibrosis when their daughter was in high school. So, we became a blended family—mom, dad and three girls. We actually made it work, and once the girls were all in college, we felt enormously blessed.

Then Something Happened…

We started to see young black children appear at our church. They were there with members who volunteered for “Safe Families.” It’s a worldwide organization for hosting kids . . . and very strong in Chicago. Typically, these are kids of moms who can’t take care of them for a number of reasons. It’s temporary; moms typically get their problems resolved and eventually take their kids back. I felt God prompting us to open our home to these kids and was especially inspired after reading one of my all-time favorite books, “Kisses from Katie.” Bob went along with my desire, though a bit reluctant about giving up being empty nesters and all the traveling and freedom that season of life affords.

We went through training and began to take kids into our home. First was a 4-year-old little girl, and then we took in her 6-year-old sister. We had them for a year. When the mom said she could take them back, it was heartbreaking for me. I always knew what the outcome would be, but it was hard. Next, we had a 5-year-old girl for a few months, and then a 6th grader for six months. By then, I’d figured out how to love them up, support them and send them back to their moms.

Christa’s Boot Camp

Christa’s boot camp - This was what our friends called it. Bob and I decided it was our job to promote growth in three basic areas: mind, body and soul. The mind is about school and helping them excel to grade level. Body is about encouraging sports and exercise and helping them make healthy food choices. Many of the kids we took in were used to a Happy Meal a day. We encouraged them to join us in family food prep. And soul was about nurturing their relationship with God, and helping them understand how much Jesus loves them. We encouraged their growth by singing songs, reading books, going to church, playing games, and doing homework together.

The little girls we fostered thrived because we gave them structure, boundaries, and nurturing. Over time, they started to feel more confident about themselves. And the experiences we shared were great for us, as well. It was always girls, because we had raised three girls of our own. And since my own kids were older and into their own lives, sharing us wasn’t an issue. Mostly, they loved and embraced these kids.

God Intervenes

Everything was going well, but then I started getting messages from God again. I just knew that we were supposed to take in a boy. I was confused because I’d never raised a boy. But sure enough, one day Safe Families called about a 15-year-old boy that needed help. He came to the U.S. from England with his much older brother . . . that older brother, several siblings, and his mom had escaped the war in South Sudan after being badly burned and had been living in government-providing housing as refugees in London.

In the States, his older brother, Teng, was coaching for Chicago Fire. He believed that by coming to the U.S. his younger brother, Deng, would have a better life. But just one year later, Teng lost his job and had to return to the UK. He reached out to Safe Families. Without their help, Deng would have been homeless in the U.S. or would have had to return to England and wait another year in hopes of re-entering school.

We said yes, of course, and a few days later became temporary parents to this teenager who was already enrolled at Glenbrook North High School. He wanted to go to college one day and play soccer. The challenge, however, was that he was several years behind most of his peers academically. So, we talked about his goals, and I said, “if you are willing to put in the time, I’ll help you”.

Between Bob and I, we tutored him night and day. Deng played soccer, and by the time he was finishing his junior year, he was getting straight A’s. He became a Peer Group leader, and even was elected to the Executive Board of the school. By senior year Deng was in Honors English and getting straight A’s. He was voted Outstanding Boy in his senior class by students and faculty. And his soccer skills got better and better. Senior year, his club soccer team went to Florida and won nationals. He got soccer scholarship offers from Amhurst and Northwestern, and after achieving the necessary ACT score, he received a full academic ride from Northwestern University.

Adoption

With the Trump administration came a move to curtail illegal immigrants. We contacted Teng and he told us that, yes, Deng was in the U.S. illegally. We found a lawyer and were told our chances were slim, but we ended up getting approval to adopt him. One nice judge loved our story so much, he sent our lawyer to meet with his boss who approved the adoption. Deng is now 21 and doing great!

One More Call From God

I felt God calling me again, and I thought perhaps we can help another family. I called Safe Families and after a brief prayer said, “We want a 6-year-old inner city black boy from Chicago. One week later, I got a call saying “Christa, we just got a call from DCSF about a man who is homeless with a 6-year-old boy. And I said “That’s our boy.” They dropped off AJ, and we’ve had him now for 2 ½ years. We’re hoping to adopt him as well. His adjustment has been amazing. He loves sports; football, soccer, tennis and golf. Today, AJ is just turning 9. He’s a great student, has a ton of friends, and has adjusted beautifully.

Why do we do this? I feel that it’s as much a blessing for us as it has been for these kids. It’s God’s work. Bob and I have been lucky enough to have good careers which has enabled us to do the work we were destined to do for the children in our care. I believe there is a saying a lot of people live by; “turn it over to God.” We did, and look what we got!

La Jolie MLN: ”It’s our mission to give young ladies the lessons all of you can share with us. So, let’s share our experiences, strength and stories.

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