*For dark-haired beauties—how to “go gray” gracefully.*

At some point, we all turn gray. My hair began the process, ironically, right after my 40th birthday. Suddenly, I needed glasses, and I noticed that I was getting gray at the roots. As a person with dark hair, I think gray roots are just more noticeable on hair like mine than they are on a blonde.

What to do?

The question was, should I just accept it and go gray gracefully, or should I get creative? The first thing I tried was a spray that promised to resolve the problem. Unfortunately, it just created another one when the color ended up all over my face. I didn’t realize how many times during the day I touched my hair and my face. The result was a dirty face.

Now 43, I’ve found that maintaining dark hair takes a lot of work. But when I decided to color my hair gray and just call it a day, I got a ton of pushback from my four daughters. Other family members agreed that I was still young to go fully gray. So I decided that I’d try balayage.

Highlights versus balayage

Until the last decade, highlights using foil to lighten and streak dark hair, was the method of choice. When balayage came along, it found a popular following among dark brunettes and even Asian and African-American women. It’s more of an art technique, where color is hand-painted throughout. The result is often more subtle.

The major difference between balayage and highlights is both technique and effect. Regrowth with balayage tends to be softer. The hand-painting allows for the dark hair to be seen and the lightened hair to shine through. Plus, you’re not saturating the entire length of the strand the way it’s done in highlighting, so the look is more natural and the hair less dry.

Speaking of dry hair

Something you need to know about gray hair is that, along with it comes a change in texture. As your hair loses its color, it becomes more porous and less oily. The good news is that you’ll find a wealth of products that can return the shine and bounce to your tresses.

So, what’s it to be?

If you decide to do what I did and delay the full turn to gray, balayage is a great option. If you decide, to embrace your gray, keep in mind that you can offset looking old by updating your make-up routine. Add a brighter pop of color to your lips and cheeks. Experiment with color on your brows. And, by all means, keep your fashion style on trend. Remember, a great, fit body is a fabulous way to stand out in your age group.

Finally, to cut or not to cut

We see it all the time; older women with short hair. It’s as though we cross the Rubicon at a certain age and just cut our hair. A pixie cut works for some (think Jamie Curtis), but not for all.

If you were blessed with a thick, healthy head of hair, you can still go gray or mix it up with a bit of color painted in and look fabulous—and modern. Your hair is your crowning glory (even if it’s not all yours.)