Robin’s story

May 19

…in a call that lasted a brief 4 minutes, I learned something that meant the world to me. ***I had a sister.***

(Robin and half sister Caron)

A four-minute phone call changed my life.

I asked this woman I had never spoken with, “Is my father’s name Laszlo Simon?”

She answered, “Yes.” She was cordial but not receptive to having a future relationship or talking very long. I promised that I would respect her wishes. It was the first and only time I had contact with my biological mother. But, in a call that lasted a brief 4 minutes, I learned something that meant the world to me. I had a sister.

The family secret

It all started when I was born. My birth mother conceived me with the help of a handsome soccer-playing member of the military. They both lived in San Antonio and the story of how they met and why they parted I do not know. When I was born, my birth mother gave me up for adoption to a couple who became my mom and dad. There was one stipulation to the adoption; my birth mother did not want any contact, and my parents said, okay.

As a result, they decided it was best not to tell me that I was adopted. I looked enough like my dad (height, hair color and skin tone), that I never thought I wasn’t theirs. I learned later that it was always their intention to tell me when I was older and more able to process it. But what really mattered was this; they were wonderful parents. My mom and I were especially close; best friends really. I was truly lucky.

When life intervenes

I grew up, went to college and found a great career. I was working in sales for a large corporation and traveled extensively. One of the perks my company gave to high performers were trips to Hawaii. I fell in love. It turned out to be one of my favorite places in the world. This would prove to be an interesting irony later in my journey.

I was living in Austin when my parents came for a visit. They had two things to tell me they said. We only made it through the first one. “My cancer has spread,” my mom said, “and I don’t have much time.” I was so devastated, we never got to the second thing they wanted to tell me.

My mom had lived two years after her initial diagnosis. There was an experimental protocol she was scheduled for, but she died suddenly the day that treatment was to start. The loss was profound for my family. During a conversation with my dad I asked about the second thing they came to Austin to tell me. And that’s when I learned that I was adopted.

I never resented my parents for keeping this from me, but I burned with the desire to know more. Where did I come from? What is my genetic history? Do I have more siblings? So, with the help of a detective and the little my dad knew, we found my birth mother’s location in one day. An old friend of my mom’s that grew up on the same street as my birth mother acted on my behalf and made the initial call. The only information I received was she was in good health and was still not ready for any contact between the two of us.

Life went on. I got married in 2008 and moved to Houston. My husband’s best friend gave us an Ancestry DNA kit for Christmas around 2016. I discovered that I was of Germanic Europe/Eastern European descent. The way it works is that as you trace your DNA, and as matches are found, you can be contacted by someone who is getting the same information. For many years there were plenty of matches for distant cousins that I really didn’t pursue or care to respond to the emails. I learned that I had a potential match with someone who could be a very close relative.

In the summer of 2019 after our summer vacation in Hawaii I received an email through Ancestry.com from a women named Caron. She and her husband were pasters of a non-denominational church in Hawaii. Her email said that she and I most likely had a parent in common. Initially, I thought this had to be a scam. But we finally connected on a call and discovered that we each held pieces of the puzzle.

Caron knew that her birth father was Hungarian, and that he had been a soccer player in his home country. His name was Laszlo Simon. After arriving in the U.S., he joined the military and was first stationed in Hawaii where he met Caron’s mom. When he left Hawaii, his next post was in San Antonio. Was my birth mom his next conquest? That we didn’t know.

There was only one way to find out if Caron and I shared the same father, and that was to ask my birth mom. Caron and I talked a lot. We shared our lives and everything that happened to us. She helped me craft a letter to my birth mom. I had never bothered her and I respected her decision. But at this point, I had to. I sent the letter, and my birth mother didn’t respond. As a mother, I knew that something was haunting her. I wanted her to know that she did the right thing. I wanted her to be at peace. I put all of that in the letter.

Finally, I made the call, and she picked up. She was very nice but asked again not to contact her in the future. In my letter I included pictures of myself and my daughter. I said that what she did was a selfless act and that I was grateful. I was adopted by the most caring people and I wanted her to understand that.

Our call lasted 4 minutes. I said, I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want anything from you. I explained the DNA test and I said, I needed to know if this woman was my sister. I asked “Is my birth father Laszlo Simon? She said yes.

I told her that I would never contact her again.

The gift that keeps on giving

I called Caron and said, “We’re sisters!” In November 2019, my daughter and I went to Hawaii and spent a week with Caron and her family. They did an early Thanksgiving to welcome us to Hawaii. She said to me, “You’re Ohana (Hawaiian for family); you are family. I love you.”

We speak every other week, and we’re close. I’ve done a lot of research on my birth father who died in 1978 when he was 40 of glioblastoma. Caron got military records because Laszlo was on her birth certificate. He was Hungarian, which explains my middle-eastern European genes.

Now I found a beautiful half-sister in Hawaii of all places, the spot that I was drawn to years before. I’ll never know why my birth mother made the choice she did, but I will be forever in her debt.

Robin in Hawaii with Caron and new family

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